2017 · Life: Mind Palace

On aggressive veganism

Here’s the thing: I don’t give a fuck about what you eat. Eat what you want, take care of yourself and sure, it’s not a bad thing to look over your consumer habits as a whole to see if there’s anything you can do to not be such a resource drain or a humanitarian disaster but if you’re going to come at me with an aggressive stance on why everyone on earth should be a vegan regardless of the situation, go bury yourself in a ditch please.

A couple of weeks back I saw an ad on the subway. It was a picture of a little brown girl in Africa with big dark eyes and skinny limbs. The ad called for donations to a milk-and-beef project that would give a cow to a family in Africa so they’d have something to make a living from. On this ad, someone had tacked a handwritten note detailing exactly how awful the meat industry is and you wouldn’t eat someone’s child, would you? Because that’s what you’re doing. You’re eating children.

Just picture this. That note, in tight little letters, accusing you of murdering children. Pinned next to the head of a starving brown girl.

I’m not arguing that meat consumption needs to go down, for many reasons. I’m a big advocate for keeping livestock in more humane and ethical conditions. However, and I only ever get this from really outspoken vegans, we’ve fucked up the world to the point where we can’t just stop doing something and everything will be set right again. Not even getting into the socioeconomic issues of complete and instant veganism, or what it’d do for the medical industry, we’ve domesticated animals to the point where they have no natural space in the world.

Stop eating cows and there will be no cows. No pigs. No cats or dogs either because they eat meat we would have to slaughter and if you think you can turn a carnivorous animal into a vegan you can fuck right off. We would have to eradicate whole species because there’s no way we can feed them and us without again fucking up the eco system. I’m not an expert but it seems like such a simple goddamn question that I don’t feel like I have to be – a five year old could wonder what happens to all the cows we don’t eat.

My cousin is an aggressive vegan. He also takes a cab everywhere he goes, rather than public transportation, and fish aren’t animals so that’s okay. Funny how something that’s supposed to be so pure, so intelligent, so often seem to fall within the white middle class.


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